@eddiesteadyno: The plan was to keep eating these alcoholic chocolates until I was either drunk or diabetic. I didn't bargain on "bankrupt" being an option.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Liam Neeson: What I do have are a very particular set of skills. Me if I were the kidnapper: *is.
@topaz_kell: When there's a police car behind you with their lights flashing... It means speed up, right?
@causticbob: Piers Morgan has taken a very strong stance against guns, and who can blame him? If you had a gun, you'd shoot him too.
@CakeThrottle: My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say 'It's so cold out!' and I say 'It's winter' and then we silently hate each other.