@eddiesteadyno: The plan was to keep eating these alcoholic chocolates until I was either drunk or diabetic. I didn't bargain on "bankrupt" being an option.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@upsidedowntrash: [behind a customer in line at a coffee shop who is taking forever to decide what to order] me: hey. them: yeah? me: try the coffee.
@Jandalize: Autocorrect changed 'get a life' to 'get a wife' and now my daughter is a lesbian.
@TheBigBatman: I mean I married my wife for her looks, but not the dirty ones she's been giving me lately.
@CelebrityChez: Day one of my soup cleanse: Feeling great! Day two: I have robbed a Burger King and killed a zebra.
@CMHorrocks: "There is no 'I' in team!" Steve Jobs yells at his iTeam.
COMMENTS