@eddiesteadyno: The plan was to keep eating these alcoholic chocolates until I was either drunk or diabetic. I didn't bargain on "bankrupt" being an option.
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@Book_Krazy: [arrives at sales meeting with giraffe I bought last month] "Ok, did everyone bring a graph tracking your activity this month?" ME: uh oh
@ImKevinito: Just saw a homeless guy fall asleep with a lit cigarette in his mouth. Which probably explains why he's homeless.
@StarWarsProblms: Yoda: Clouded, your future is. Anakin: Are you smoking pot again? Yoda: Six cheeseburgers, I want.