@Poutymcgee: "THE PLATYPUS HERE TASTES LIKE SHIT! DO NOT ORDER IT!" I shout in the face of a confused and frightened old lady at the zoo.
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@primawesome: I'm in pretty good shape for a grown man who believes the multivitamin I take every morning cancels out all the gas station food I eat.
@flashember: Me: i think i'm being hunted by a great white shark Wife: nonsense, we're on land *Weirdly-shaped grandfather clock i don't remember owning exhales sigh of relief*
@roboticcrab: moth *repeatedly bashing itself against my computer monitor* me: it's not a touchscreen you have to use the mouse