@rickkondell: The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.
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@AndLive2Love: My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn't want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
@birbigs: One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you.
@dyldonot: [girl brings me back to her apartment] her: come to bed me: just one sec [velcro noises] [more velcro noises] [too many velcro noises]