@myles_morrison: The power going out for 15 minutes is enough to crush any fantasy I have about surviving a zombie apocalypse.
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@Breadery: My daughter got a sticker from her teacher that said 'resilient tortoise.' I've sent her in with one to give in return, 'patronizing hippo.'
@fro_vo: [airplane intercom] good afternoon ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking why did you leave without me
@ScreaminMomX2: Parenting tip: If your toddler is being quiet then they are probably doin somethin like tryin to flush the cat down the toilet.