@briangaar: The premise of Batman is that, deep down, all billionaires just want to be first-year patrol cops
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@jake_likes_naps: *locks hands with stranger in elevator* im nervous, this is my first time flying
@SincerelyMen: If you think meeting your girlfriends parents is hard just remember? Someone is going to try to date Eminems daughter
@Dani_Feld: All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi.