@Storminika: The president says 60% of Americans don't know math -- 60%. So what if 60% don't know math? What about the 85% that do know math?
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@Kendragarden: I call my nephews "Dude" and "Homie" because I'm the cool Aunt! (I don't know their names.)
@squirrel74wkgn: I’ve heard the jokes and the laughter as people drove past my house in July, but who’s laughing NOW? *plugs in Xmas lights*
@Lama911: Flight to Vegas...guy in front of me has a bouquet made up of dollar bills. Pro Tip: That stripper will never marry you bro.
@BritXNic: "Creepy DM: I want to shave your legs. Me: Ew" On reflection this would have been a real time saver. If you're reading this, call me?