@JimmerThatisAll: The problem with Chinese food is an hour later you feel like hacking the Pentagon again.
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@WisdomGifs: You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons. How ionic.
@JediGigi: "Is that old Chinese food in the trash? There's Q-tips in there too? AND a bag of my poop? This is gonna be so good!" --dogs
@david8hughes: [ultrasound] Dr: your baby is 7mm in length Me [whispering to wife]: ask him Wife [sighs]: what is that in fruit sizes?