@Samigrl2: The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.
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@noog: Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you? "Regular coffee with cream please" That's $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales. "TEN?"
@JB4Realz: Turns out, the guy who invented CPR just liked kissing strangers then punching them in the chest.
@ArchiePeeler: Hostess: It's a 15 minute wait. May I have your name? Me: Baron Von Gerhardt, heir to the throne of Osterburken. Hostess: Me: Write it down.
@kelkulus: The Indian version of "How I Met Your Mother"is just a single episode called "I Met Her At Our Wedding".