@pixelatedboat: The problem with millennials is they were taught to look up to Pokemon not *struggles to think of a thing old people respect* Mussolini
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@bkdcasey: I told an ex of mine that i wished she was more punctual. So, from then on, she added !!!!!!! to every text. I have picked some winners.
@shelbyfero: "Make it two if you count my great personality - three if we include my charm! Hahahahaha oh um yes it's a table for one."
@TheToddWilliams: [house party] ME: Hey, can I get you a glass of wine?...a beer?...vodka? HER: Do you have anything nonalcoholic? ME: Uh...do you mean like a joint?