@Eagle_Vision: The problem with political jokes is that they get elected.
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@Elizasoul80: 5 year old son: I want to be a boxer. Me: I think you're too cute to be a boxer. 5: Yes, that is what everybody will think.
@TheAdly: Why is your ass split vertically? Because if it was split horizontally it would clap when you're going down the stairs.
@michaelianblack: Common courtesy: don't bring McDonalds French fries on the plane unless you bring enough for everybody.