@TheTweetOfGod: The problem with rich people is you're not one of them.
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@lisaxy424: I feel like my relationship with the Walking Dead started so great and we had some good times but now we’re only staying together for the kids.
@martyntanton: My wife told me, "I look really fat. Please make me feel better and compliment me." I said, "You have perfect eyesight."
@WilliamAder: I remember my first time at a mic. "Cleanup on aisle 5" & "Price check-Advil" were two early bits that really seemed to resonate with folks.