@Lexactly: The problem with seducing someone via text, is you sometimes end up wrapping your warm moth, or mother around his troubling clock
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@MikeCanRant: 1) Find and catch a rabbit 2) Go to restaurant 3) Complain about a hare in your meal 4) Enjoy free meal plus adorable household pet
@RobElliottComic: Mr. Buffalo: I caught my son making out with a girl Me: SWEET! Mr. Buffalo: And a boy Me: So, I guess you could say he's your... Bi-son
@cat_beltane: "so what did you do before self-driving cars?" "we just drove 'em ourselves!" "wow, no one died that way?" "oh no, millions of people died"