@Lexactly: The problem with seducing someone via text, is you sometimes end up wrapping your warm moth, or mother around his troubling clock
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@MsFoxIfUrNasty: Anyone else notice how Barney the Dinosaur is basically a T-rex & parents had no qualms about leaving their children with an apex predator?
@WildeThingy: I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
@seandunn76: Patients get nervous when I walk into surgery wearing my lucky cape but I didn't go to medical school so I need all the luck I can get.
@JMNuch23: When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply by 3 and add the number of guys in her phone named Tyler