@slimpickins_: The problem with studying ancient Chinese art is I want some Mexican art a half an hour later.
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@UncleDuke1969: "Daddy, are vampires real?" "No, sweetie. Go back to bed." *waits until daughter is asleep* *grabs red Sharpie* *draws 2 dots on her neck*
@GrowlyGrego: My dad taught me the importance of having convictions in life. Ten felonies later, I now know that some words have more than one meaning.
@WilliamAder: Twitter announced today that they've lost 134 million dollars this year. I don't know if they want us to look for it or what the deal is.