@TheCatWhisprer: The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.
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@MissNaughty1801: *on the phone Him: where are you?! Me: I'm just waiting for the train Him: hurry up Me:...no problem. I'll be waiting faster
@Faux_Ma: My Daughter wants a Cinderella-themed party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house.
@CoatCzech: Me: Table for four, please. And can we get some crayons? Her: Will there be children dining today? Me: No. The crayons are for me.