@bad_as_you_want: The problem with today's children is that today's grown-ups are idiots.
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@illTortuga: I asked my Ouija board when I was going to get a girlfriend and it spelled out HAHAHAHAHA until it caught fire.
@Mr_Kapowski: If you're ever lost in the woods, try to find a bear to kill. Their claws will provide four sweet breakfast pastries.
@shimmala: My kids are gonna be super disappointed when they find out sweet talk involves no exchange of tangible confectionary goods.
@trevso_electric: When I hear commercials say "win a trip for you and six friends" I start counting to see if I have six friends.