@Travon: The Queen is so afraid of how the vote will turn out, she put Sam Smith in a boat circling Scotland singing "Stay With Me" into a megaphone.
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@michaelianblack: All those guys who refuse to marry their girlfriends until everybody has the right to marry must be shitting their pants.
@JohnLyonTweets: I said goodbye to everyone at a party and then mistakenly walked into a closet and was too embarrassed to walk back out so I live here now.
@AndyAsAdjective: Girl, did you take a massage therapy course at a community college with questionable credentials? Because you're rubbing me the wrong way.