@jamitupin: The question is not what am I doing in your house, the question is why are you home from work early?
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@JoParkerBear: "Don't ever do cocaine, son." "Why, mommy? Is it bad for you?" "I was going to say 'expensive,' but yeah, whatever."
@SonofConway: When tragedy strikes your community, McDonald's will still be there to take your money.
@TheAlexNevil: Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul...to keep... If I shall die before I wake-- Yah, I really don't like where this is going.
@man_spach: [on a test drive] Me: Haha the heated seat feels like I peed my pants! Dealer: This car doesn't have heated seats. Me: Does it have napkins?