@TheTweetOfGod: The question is not "Why is Instagram not working?", but "Why does the world need another picture of you?" #instagramnotworking
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@Ygrene: Me: I heard Rihanna got food poisoning Brain: Stop M: It was B: No M: Salmonella ella ella ey ey B: This is why I can't do math in your head
@ibid78: *angrily whispering over crib* "Sheila you know I was raised by wolves. I have to pay it forward." "But why do they need their own cribs?"
@crylenol: VAN GOGH: Go on, open it. You'll like it. Much better than last year. GIRL: It isn't another ear is it, Vince? VAN GOGH: what