@RubenWriter: The rain is starting to worry me. I'm afraid that because I have a beard that my friends will expect me to build an ark.
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@Dear_Booze: ME: "I'll have a rum & coke." HIM: "I can't serve you." ME: "Because I'm too drunk?" HIM: "No. 'cause this is a hardware store."
@Canadian_Cutie_: First date *dont let him know you been stalking him Him- so my brother just got deployed Me: Josh or Brian?
@jokesforsmokes: "I have a bloody nose" - a British person emphasizing the fact that he has a nose.