@DamienFahey: The Rainforest Cafe isn't realistic enough for me. Part of the restaurant should burn down by the time you finish your meal.
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@NoogsCorner: Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them.
@TheHyyyype: Apparently when your wife says "let's make a baby," she doesn't mean assemble an infant from clay and chant The Old Words inside a pentagram
@ConanOBrien: You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancée by the way he hasn’t murdered her.
@iwearaonesie: mom: no TV for a week! dad: and after you take a bath you can't use your hands to get out of the tub *sons jaw drops* mom: [whispers] nice