@clindsaysway: The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.
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@DiamondLou69: Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [walks into a laundromat with a bag of popcorn kernels and heads straight to the dryers]
@Smuirf: Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you hear Juan you've heard Jamal.