@clindsaysway: The rare times my cat comes to me for affection, I run and hide under the bed, so she knows what that feels like.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Aspersioncast: What doesn't kill you leaves you feeling rejected and wondering why you weren't good enough for death.
@juliussharpe: Million dollar idea - an app that connects you with other people eating beef jerky in their car.
@KrunkedRobot: Just told everybody in the bar to shut the hell up so my date could hear the full effect of my velcro wallet opening.