@NicCageMatch: The rats outside my apartment building are getting very bold. One of them just asked me for my number.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Ladies, don't be sad if your thighs begin to start touching You're becoming a mermaid!
@Prof_Hinkley: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Off duty cop: No *cop gets so close their mustaches interlock like velcro* You're driving great, pal
@AnnDabromowitz: WOLVERINE'S DAD: Son do you know why I named you Wolverine WOLVERINE: No, father WOLVERINE'S DAD: It is because my name is Wolverine's Dad
@KyleMcDowell86: *sees a babe about to walk through a puddle* "No no, allow me" *gets on hands and knees and drinks the entire puddle so the babe stays dry*