@NicCageMatch: The rats outside my apartment building are getting very bold. One of them just asked me for my number.
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@jctwritesstuff: That face-melting Nazi guy in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' but it's just my makeup the second I step outside in the summer.
@badbanana: Immortality would suck. I don't want to spend the next 800 years trying to explain Gangnam Style to my great-grandfather.
@coketruck76: 13: Dad, do you believe in miracles? Me: Do you remember spray painting my car? 13: yeah M: Are you breathing? 13: yeah M: Well, there ya go