@Cheeseboy22: The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
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@bourgeoisalien: pretty jealous of bears. they're like, "well, just ate my entire weight in salmon, now I'm gonna sleep for 6 months. smell ya later, hater"
@LindaInDisguise: Bohemian Rhapsody should be an official unit of measure. "I can shower in 1 Bohemian Rhapsody." "Ran a 5K in under 6 Bohemian Rhapsodies."
@just1fool: After years of failure, the "scientist" that had been trying to create a fake urine nearly went mad after he drank his first Miller Lite.
@StevieKnip: Cop: Hey U! U: who, me? Cop: no the other 1! 1: who, me? Cop: both of U! W: who, us? Cop: Yes you! U: Who, me? Cop: No! No: yes?