@KelleysBreakRm: The reason I don't like Facebook's "memories" feature is because it shows me 6 years ago wearing the same shirt I have on right now.
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@thenoahkinsey: *on a 1st date* Her:..and I have 3 cats Me: Swipe left H: Did you say "swipe left"?! M: H: M: *panicked whisper* swipeleftswipeleftswipeleft
@DanMentos: [first day of work as a 911 operator] "Hello, 911" Hi someone's trying to break into my house "holy shit call 911"
@longwall26: We don't have wifi in Tennessee. I just pray my tweets into my phone and let Him (#Christ) do the rest.