@lovemyboots111: The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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@GuyEndoreKaiser: Yes, curling is silly and basically janitorial work, but that guy's gonna have a gold medal, and all you'll have is your joke about curling.
@QuietPsycho: HR: know why you're here? Me: I put my tongue in the candy cutter Union: well..unsafe..but fired? HR: the candy cutter's name is Trish
@NYC_Blonde: My favorite part of The Bachelor is when a crazy emotional girl starts crying and he'd rather kiss her snot-nosed face than listen to her.