@lovemyboots111: The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MrWordsWorth: Sarah Palin isn't racist. Some of her white friends' best white friends have white friends who vaguely know someone who is black.
@hadafewbeers: Love it when moms refer to kids by age in tweets. "6 fell down today". Wonder if the kids do the opposite at school: "33 is drunk again".
@StillJessLS: Damn you Jehovah's, suckered me in to opening my door. Sure,I'll read your literature, while you read my twitter. We'll see who converts who
@dadamantium: Me: Daughters, dude. Driving me crazy, you know? Him: Yeah. Me: Want another juice box, bro? Him: Yeah. 3 year-old neighbor boy gets me.