@bugbucket: it's so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

@Dutch_50: Acquaintances: "So what have you been up to?" What I hear: "Please explain yourself, we're trying to figure you out."

@Try2StopME: Maggi is the girlfriend of the food world. It says 2 minutes but never gets ready in less than 20 minutes.

@Luiki89: If anyone needs an ark, I Noah guy.

@shutupmikeginn: Rent in the city is getting ridiculous. I pay $775 to live in a barista's beard. I have 3 roommates.