@Token_Geezer: The reason the Japanese kill so many whales is because they remind them of Americans
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@jimmytorosian: *Rubs lamp* *Nothing happens* Where's the genie? *Takes off lampshade* What's wrong with this thing?
@Brianhopecomedy: Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I'm hoping that she's having an affair.
@WildeThingy: Teacher "Hi, why are you here?" Me "Um, isn't this the beginners' philosophy class?" Teacher "Yes and you're off to a really bad start."