@chris_isloi: The reason your car won't go over 60 in the city is because you haven't yelled "HOLD ON!" yet.
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@GrantTanaka: me: hey, cute dog, what’s his name guy w/ dog: Robert me: Robert guy: yeah me: [grabs him by shirt] wtf is wrong with you
@RelatabIe: whenever my mom criticizes me i yell “it’s probably genetic” and run out of the room as fast as i can