@farleftcoast: The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about.
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@mattgallo123: The only thing more shocking than finding water on planet Mars would be finding me in Planet Fitness.
@AlisWay: ok so when a guy marries four women does he wear four rings or just ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL?
@amusedkerching: If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad "iPhone 5S for $1 only"
@weismanjake: I wonder if celebrity couples have a list of 5 average citizens each of them are allowed to sleep with if they ever get the chance