@farleftcoast: The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about.
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@GuyEndoreKaiser: If you're feeling down, park in a handicap space and soon a bunch of strangers will tell you that there's nothing wrong with you!
@TheAlexP: [1st date] *recalls buddy said women like a manly man* *but also, be sensitive* I like to work with my hands, But splinters make me cry.
@jazmasta: There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
@kellysdf: All those political ads are very convincing. They convinced me to stop watching television.