@notalogin: The recipe said "prick with a fork," but enough about me.
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@BreadFoster: Don't say "lets get weird" on our date then get freaked out I'm dressed in Forever 21 and holding your cousin hostage.
@GeriatricBeards: *throws coin in fountain* stranger: can you not do that? Me: just want my wish to come true S: this is a drinking fountain m: wish came true
@MikeCanRant: I wait til the mailman comes to send all my emails in front of him while keeping eye contact and whispering "Your end is nigh, letter boy."