@Thedudish: The recipe said "Set the oven to 180 degrees," so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall.
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@MunkMania: You know shit's getting real when someone bets their glass eye at the neighborhood poker game.
@simoncholland: When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Afraid to fly? It's perfectly safe except that air traffic controllers are all gov't employees forced to work the holidays. Merry Xmas.
@SassyTexasGal: Sees cute guy in the parking. Drops something so I can bend over & do the sexy hair flip. Forgets I have short hair. He sees me as seizing.