@Thedudish: The recipe said "Set the oven to 180 degrees," so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall.
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@JermHimselfish: People who make up phrases and try to pass them off as popular sayings are just throwing meat to the monkeys in the middle of a maelstrom.
@PaperWash: [interview at a clothing store] be cool, don't let them know you're a dog "so what color is this dress?" oh you gotta be kidding me
@EdwindelaRenta: me: i'm really glad we met, i feel like I can completely be myself around u. u had me at hello kidnapper: pls stop talking