@KagroX: The Republicans haven't got a single candidate who could survive a Willie Wonka factory tour.
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@justabloodygame: [shopping for make-up] "Excuse me, what will make my eyes pop?" "I know exactly what you need." [boots you into the vacuum of deep space]
@That_Damn_Duck: Instead of saying you lost your eyesight due to an explosion while you were making meth, just tell people that you were blinded by science.