@KagroX: The Republicans haven't got a single candidate who could survive a Willie Wonka factory tour.
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@ABurgerADay: What idiot called it the road to Bethlehem instead of the highway to the manger zone?
@Stellacopter: [at heaven's gate] God: Tell me why I should let u in Me: I've never made anyone look at my baby's ultrasound pic God: You can have my bed
@NicestHippo: [serial killers talking] Anyway I stood there for like 10 minutes, but she never wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror so I just left
@shanethevein: I'm starting to think some of you are actually on Facebook. You know we just joke about being Facebook right?