@Super_Cynthia: The roof of my mouth just healed from that Hot Pocket I had in 2003.
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@honeybadgerMel: I wish my ears would visibly lay back like a cats when I'm pissed off so people would know when to leave me the hell alone.
@TheRolo: If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out.
@TwatWaffler69: Wife wants to hang pictures of our kids in the bathroom. Like they don't already spend enough time in there with us.
@TeaPartyCat: BREAKING: FBI discovers that Hillary’s 30,000 deleted emails were all Facebook notifications from Biden tagging her on cat videos.