@AndyAsAdjective: The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.
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@ShesARealGenius: [FIRST DATE] Me, opening mouth seductively: "And this is where I burned my tongue on pizza, and this is where I burned my tongue on fries, a
@MumsieEsq: When your 3yo spits a chewed up wad of cheese into your hand and you're like "where did you find this, I didn't give you any cheese today?"
@ExtraGrumpyCat: 4/20 = National Weed Day 4/21 = National Drug Testing Day 4/22 = National Unemployment Day
@leifromloihi: i was one of the palm trees waving around in the background of every 16 bit game in the 90's so yes random guy you do know me from somewhere