@TheBoydP: The ruling that legal papers can now be "served" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?
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@UnFitz: Dyslexic Superbowl watchers were probably disappointed when they saw football instead of a superb owl.
@MafiaJoker78: *Leaves home for the day... *Fears I left something behind *Runs inside to see baby playing with my phone. *Grabs phone & leaves.
@AndrewChamings: ME: I wasn't invited to the party FRIEND: Yeah, people think you're melodramatic ME: [slaps friend with silk glove] Then I shall die alone