@TheBoydP: The ruling that legal papers can now be "served" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?
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@thenatewolf: Ugh your paleontologist friend is coming? He's so boring! Don't worry, I have a plan to keep him distracted *pulls out seven layer dip*
@Tmoney68: I should have known my son was stealing from his road construction job, but every time I came home I guess I just ignored all the signs.
@brendohare: [evil villain turns around in chair to confront adversary but spins too fast and does two complete revolutions before talking]
@wickedsuga: Proud of myself. I only ate 1 brownie today. I mean, it was cut up into 8 very large pieces and took up the whole pan but yeah, 1 brownie.