@kelkulus: The Russian version of "How I Met Your Mother" is just a single episode showing a guy browsing a web page.
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@weinerdog4life: Honey, I made the news! Apparently that old lady I fought at the library wasn't a ghost
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: I missed chicken nugget day at daycare. Me: So? 5-year-old: My life is falling apart.