@bourgeoisalien: the saddest part about self driving cars will be all the times people die mid trip and then ur dinner guests or pizza guy will arrive dead
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@jimmytorosian: A lawyer walks into a bar. A lawyer leaves the bar. A lawyer walks into the bar. A lawyer fails the bar because he was drunk.
@Lisabug74: Started my new healthy diet today. Breakfast is 2 almonds, I lick an apple for lunch, and dinner is yelling at a picture of myself naked.
@AbbeYaar: Just accidentally used yahoo to search for something. I think the entire Yahoo! Search staff are having a party and high fiving each other.
@CalmTomb: If you're a bicyclist, probably the best thing that can happen is you put your arm out to signal a turn and a falcon perches on your wrist.