@bourgeoisalien: the saddest part about self driving cars will be all the times people die mid trip and then ur dinner guests or pizza guy will arrive dead
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@Marcmywords2: Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ............no matter how magnificent they look.
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: Well, they say a mirror adds ten pounds. Me: That's a cam- Wife: ... Me: Yes. Yes they do.
@ag_loco: How to keep a man happy: 1) Phone him 86 times a day 2) Wail hysterically 3) Be needy 4) Never sleep with him 5) Buy yourself shoes