@AnnaKendrick47: The saddest thing about the digital age is the next generation won't have that "nudie mag they found in the woods" experience. #culture
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@thenatewolf: Guard: what do you want for your last meal? Me: anything? Guard: anything Me: the warden Guard: oooooo he ain't gonna like that...
@joe_binkley: "I heard that taking your shirt off can make you appear more aggressive and self-confident." "Ok, but we already said you got the job."
@therealeatwood: GURU: You have achieved the state of sakṛdāgāmin: you will reach nirvāṇa within seven lifetimes ME: [slipping him a $20] How about six
@JasonLastname: Somewhere there's a person named Current Resident who has to read every piece of junk mail.