@NervousJr: The same woman who said "I'm your mom not your friend" has sent me 17 Facebook friend requests.
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@alldrolledup: It has come to my attention that some of you are eating the bottom half of cupcakes. That is the peel, people. Know your fruit.
@AdamTheLobster: Cop: your under arrest Me: you're* under arrest 2nd Cop: [handcuffing 1st cop] sorry Ed, but he's right
@werehedgehog: No, they're not called hedge funds because hedgehogs control the global economy. What a silly idea. :) *later to thugs* They know too much.
@JohnLyonTweets: Please stop sending me sexy photos of yourselves, ladies. You're distracting me while I try to read this book on reverse psychology.