@NervousJr: The same woman who said "I'm your mom not your friend" has sent me 17 Facebook friend requests.
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@dinokitten: [at Chinese restaurant] "Hi I'll have a large goingon" -What is goingon? "Nothing much, just hungry for some Chinese food"
@celebrityhottub: I'm on a plane with the dad from Home Alone and it's taking all my strength to not scream "WE FORGOT KEVIN!"