@andylassner: The Samsung Galaxy is a cool phone if you don't mind carrying around a 42" screen.
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@seanforhire: i noticed you didn't put interpretive dance on your gift registry but i went ahead and got it for you anyways
@miss_foofoo: I never understood why people get buried in suits. When I die bury me in my PJ's. If I'm gonna be sleeping that long I wanna be comfortable.
@Illiter8: What possible bit about trying to buy a large number of ice cream containers and two boxes of tampons says I want to chat you up, douchebag?
@Dutch_50: The Carpenters: Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Me: Those aren't birds. They're giant blood sucking mosquitos.