@Underchilde: The scariest thing about the Cold War was the threat of getting stuck inside a bunker with your spouse.
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@shashaintl: Handsome Stranger: Excuse me, but you're.. Me: Gorgeous & you've been mustering up the courage to speak to me? HS: ..blocking the pickles.
@sarcasm_inc: [a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it
@TheCatWhisprer: I own a lot of Nike shirts for a guy who just bought a movie on iTunes so he wouldn’t have to get up and get the DVD from the other room.