@Cherbearxo: The secret to sustaining a happy marriage is to keep the mystery alive. So tonight I decided to clean something unexpectedly.
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@: ME WATCHING OLYMPIC EVENT: “Holy shit that was amazing!” COMMENTATOR: “Ooh, that was not good at all. He must really be upset with himself.”
@QwertyJones3: "See that guy over there? I have to serve him with papers today." -Oh really? Why? "Because I lost my tennis racquet."
@sirchutney: Just finished reading a book on Stockholm Syndrome. I really didn't like the first couple of chapters, but by the end I loved it.