@Jay16282: The self-checkout line was invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons.
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@KyleMcDowell86: A cop pulled me over because he thought I was talking on a cell phone but really I was just rubbing a slice of pizza on the side of my face
@BrainSeducer: Guys, don't take the first step cause girls hate that easy guy. Also, you must take the first step cause they hate the shy one. Good luck!
@DirtMcTurd: My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that "Paint" is a stupid name for our cat