@meganamram: the sequel to "Up" should be called "Up 2: No Good" who do I tell this to
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@_davidlucas_: If your human doesn't feed you immediately, run in front of their feet and trip them up. ~Cats, apparently.
@rockymomax: ME: someone stole my credit card number BANK: why would they spend $187 at a hot dog stand? ME: [hangs head in shame] that wasn't them
@MoistPork: "He's a jerk. I'm over him anyway. (5 minutes later) Ooh, he texted! I want to have his babies!" -Women
@AtticusFinch79: [November 2030] *at the ocean* "don't forget your oil block, 800 spf sunblock and your radiation suits" Kids: This fish has three heads