@peachesanscream: The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
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@GrowlyGrego: My little old fish didn't move around in her bowl all day. i thought she was dead but it turns out she was just going through minnow pause.
@FlyJ_: Him: *down on one knee* Will you marry me? Me: Nah, I'm good, but... (puts up hand up to high five) thanks for asking!