@carlyken: The Shawshank Redemption but it's just me tunneling from my office to the break room so I don't have to talk to my boss.
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@KyleMcDowell86: SORRY I REPLACED EVERYTHING IN YOUR FIRST AID KIT WITH BAGS OF BEEF JERKY YOU MIGHT BE MAD NOW BUT YOU'LL THANK ME LATER
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Teen: Your brows are on fleek! Me: (confused) Yeah well your FACE is on fleek. Teen: Thanks! Me: God damn it.
@autocorrects: Do I turn left when nothing is right? Or do I turn right when there's nothing left?