@3sunzzz: The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
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@baeblacksheep: ONLY text me in an emergency. Like my car's shooting flames from the trunk, one of my exes dies eventfully, or if someone thinks I'm sexy.
@Playing_Dad: *shuts down road going both ways* Right over here, officer. Here is where the accident happened. *pulls tiny sheet over squirrel*
@TravLeBlanc: "What would Jesus do?" is an unfair question. He had superpowers. Your lifeboat is sinking. WWJD? Well, he'd get out and walk to shore. See?