@britt_anylynn: The sign at the McDonald's I just passed says "We hiring" in case you're wondering what kind of qualifications you need to have to be hired.
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@JustaFunEscape: Twitter to me is like the Bermuda triangle. I don't know how I got here and I'm not even sure where "here" is.
@numbertze: When playing tug of war with a 2yo, it's best to remember they're pulling really really hard and holy shit they travel fast when you let go
@Fred_Delicious: if you're ever worried there's an intruder in your house, shout 69 down the stairs. if no one laughs, there's no one there