@OhNoSheTwitnt: The sign at this gas station says "turn engine off" so I catcalled my engine and its cute friend from across the street.
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@rhysjamesy: Bae: come over Me: I can't, I'm hanging out with your parents. Bae: my parents aren't home. Me: I know. I just... You never listen Susan.
@TheDairylandDon: No, Grandma. Still not married; but the lady in the Popeye's Chicken commercials keeps calling me "Honey" so we'll see where that goes.
@caliluvgirl77: I'll never rob a store because I don't want to see the police guess my weight on a wanted poster.